Generations Church is a cult, but not in a cool Charles Manson kinda-way

Do you have no mind of your own? Do you like creepy pastors who have goatees in order to appear much younger than they actually are? Do you want to be part of a massive brain dead horde? Do you have lots of money you can throw into a plate to benefit that creepy pastor aforementioned? Then Generations Church might be for you!

For the rest of us with an electrical impulse or two left in our brains, Generations Church is a nightmare that grows stronger each day, as we sit back and let Pastor Rich spread his filth into the minds of our friends and family. Don’t get me wrong, folks, I think all churches are on par with Ponzi schemes, but Generations Church takes it to a whole new level.

First of all, Yuma is a town so small that your co-workers, your enemies, your lovers, your acquaintances and your drug dealers are all going to come from the same circle. (It sucks so bad, it ought to be its own post.) So you at least know one person who goes to Generations Church, and they are probably proof enough that the place is on its way to being the next Jonestown.

As a rule, the fanatics of Generations Church must announce their faith and church to EVERYONE they meet. I’m no Sigmund Freud, but I’m pretty sure that’s what the old doctor would have called “ a case of the crazies.” They make sure to let you know every five seconds “how strong their relationship is with the LORD because of Generations.” To put it into perspective, I have met World of Warcraft players who have more balanced lives than the Generation-ers. WoW fans typically waste half 100% of their time awake doing repetitive tasks on-line as a mythical creature, but at least they don’t spend their miniscule slivers of time away from the computer trying to get me to play. And what’s more, if I tell them WoW is a complete waste of time and money, they usually don’t disagree with me. A severe stretch from the typical Generations-er, who is consumed by the task of tallying up converts, because they think it increases their chances of getting into heaven. So there you have it, Generations Church members, you are officially less mentally stable than people who live vicariously through trolls and dwarfs.

I’ve said it once, and I’ll keep saying it until it changes; small towns, small minds. Generations stifles free thoughts, and is a direct road block to social progression. Pastor Rich Witimer wants people to believe that “homosexuality is a sin” because the Bible says so. Oh really? The Bible also says that women should not wear pants (Deuteronomy 22:5) that men should marry the women they rape (Deuteronomy 22:28). Lets not kid ourselves, we’ve come a long way since Biblical times. We have picked and chosen certain elements of the Bible to keep and others to discard which shows that we are capable of moral judgments without the Bible. This guy has so much influence, and unfortunately he’s using it to condemn a certain group of people to fire and brimstone.

Another lapse in judgment is the fact that the Generations crowd actually thinks they are benefiting the world with their nonsense. In the words of a seriously uneducated lady named Denise M, “who cares about the planet if the people are going to hell?? i’ll use my time to help save people’s souls, not the environment!!” I can’t believe I live amongst these people. Or this little gem of ignorance from Stephanie, “One of the best ways to improve our planet is to make sure the people living on it know the one who made it… If you think that melting down bottles and reusing them and things like that is what is going to improve the planet then you are the one that is misguided.” Once more, Pastor Rich does nothing to discourage this type of thinking. You’d think that people who live in one of the hottest places on earth would be just a little concerned with global warming.

Generations Church symbolizes everything that can go wrong with a community: the close mindedness, fanaticism, the larger than life leader orchestrating the minds of the many. Pastor Rich could use his influence and power to support free thinking, to help his flock understand that no one should judge other person because of what they choose to do in the privacy of their own bedroom, or that global warming might deserve some attention, but he enjoys the control a little too much.

If you are from Generations, I have a bit of bad news for you; your shepherd is leading you to the slaughterhouse, not the promised land.

Think I’m a complete liar?Visit http://blog.richwitmer.com/171/ first.

Like decent music? Live in Yuma? Sucks for you.

There’s at least one thing the average, and I stress the word average, Yuman agrees with; it’s too damn hot. Yes, they all recognize the rising temperature, while simultaneously denying that global warming exists, but nonetheless, seem to understand that 140 degree weather on Thanksgiving Day deserves both questioning and anger. It’s so hot you that a nuclear explosion probably wouldn’t make much difference to the temperature, although, that’s not going to stop me from begging for one.

But, you see, bitching about heat in Yuma is as ordinary and boring as well…Yuma. My point is that unlike the heat, the music scene is here to stay. On the other hand, if mother-nature decides she has had enough, global warming will finally melt the ice caps, causing cold freshwater to pour into the northern Atlantic ocean and disrupt the Gulf Stream ( the water current that keeps our continents nice and toasty) and eureka: we have an ice age! But I’m not going to put you to sleep with all that uninteresting science stuff! I’m going to tell you why the music scene is another reason to make Yuma the next Hiroshima.

NOTE : If you listen to country, this doesn’t really apply to you. You’re perfectly content listening to whatever piece of trash (cough cough Gretchen Wilson) drunkenly wanders in the local reservation Casino. I envy you. Also, if you happen to like 80’s has-beens, you also have a fine array of music selection: Blondie! Peter Frampton! Who’s next? God, please let it be Billy Idol.

For the rest of us, well, the title says it all. If you didn’t want to smell like testicles and desperation while listening to a high school kid mimic the ‘tards he saw on MTV, then you didn’t have an option. Better stay inside and illegally download music, the way the good lord intended.
The only problem is that not everyone understands that it’s their civic duty to not pay for bum shows, to not go out and support talentless musicians, even if they’ve “been your friends since like, seventh grade.” Before you go out and pay $5 whole dollars on a Paramour knock-off, think to yourself, Does the world really need another Paramour? Hell, does the world even need one Paramour? And because people don't think, we get places like Modern Cultures.

Modern Cultures is a sad, small, poorly ventilated room for rock n’roll. Only there’s no rock and roll left; no smoking, no drinking, no drugs. They didn’t say “no sex” in the sign, but I’m pretty sure no one who goes to that place is getting laid. Nor are any of the scene kids “bangable.” To whomever runs that rat hole here’s some sound business advice everyone learns in highschool:

1. Liqueur makes boring people cool. You want cool people. Allow it.
2. Smoking makes boring people look cool. You want to look cool. Allow it.
3. Parents are not cool. Disallow it.

You'd think that list is obvious right? And spare me the lecture; I know the first two rules are against the law. But hey, it’s not rock n’ roll unless you’re breaking a few rules. That place is more monitored and righteous than Sunday school. Hence, they have no business, and are going to turn into the next Java Oasis. And why the hell are there 5 parents for every 1 kid? Especially that creepy, overly friendly, old dude who is clearly past the age one is allowed to have such a ridiculous haircut. Anyhoo, the sorry music scene isn’t your entire fault!

In a breezy summary, it also has to do with the fact that all the bands are full of hacks that most likely learned music by playing blink 182 tabs, and have now evolved into sounding like a tornado of screaming monkeys. And I mean all of them. Music theory is not something you can learn over night, children. I’m all for creativity and self-expression and art and all that stuff that makes you sound open minded, but at the end of the day I also want something decent, with a tune I can hum or lyrics that make me go, “Wow, I couldn’t have thought of that!” But I guess, until the ice age freezes us up like little forgotten meatballs in the back of the fridge, we’re left with this, because telling a scene kid to not support obnoxious music is like telling a dog to not hump your furniture.